There’s nothing quite like a surprise visit to remind me that there are a few reasons why I envy the extroverted.
I’ve complied a bit of a list.
- The surprise drop-by. It wouldn’t have worried you, oh extrovert. It did kind of worry me. It probably also wouldn’t have worried you that you had headphones (haven of the introvert) on and that you were singing at the top of your lungs when your husband came into the room where you were folding the washing and mouthed – “we have a visitor..”
I froze … Horrified … Is it to late to pretend I’m not at home?
Apparently it was.
Just to let you know friends – for me as an introvert the surprise drop-by is not completely off limits – but those friends of mine who can do it – know they can do it – and they always give me at least a 10 min warning anyway. 😉
- The welcoming smile – you would have done it and meant it so that it didn’t look like this … as you look around and see the dishes on the bench and the flowers that need to be freshened up. Then you realise that you are wearing clothes that are not fit to be seen in public – there’s a tear under one arm.. your hair clearly needs to be washed ..and you haven’t cleaned your teeth..
- The small talk. You, oh wonderful extrovert, can do the small talk. I cannot – especially if the person who is sitting across the table from me has just heard me singing along to Sarah McLachlan at the top of my lungs. I’m embarrassed, I think they have seen through my smile (above) and read my transparent expression which, I’d suggest, quite clearly reads – What the heck do you think you are doing dropping by like that .. catching me with my guard down.
You, oh extrovert, would have also managed admirably to have some pleasant small talk with this surprise drop-by visitor, the neighbour you haven’t really connected with, who you haven’t spoken to for months, who you’ve had about 3-4 conversations with over the past 12 months who is dropping by to say good bye. I felt like I was being fake – it is unlikely we will see each other again and I don’t really know you and yet you are sitting at my table in my home .. It is unlikely you would have had to admonish yourself. Stop talking to yourself and listen to the nice lady – how rude are you? Imagine if she could see what you were thinking – she probably can you know you do have a transparent face. She’s a lovely lady and you should be smiling …NICELY … and listening properly.
You, oh extrovert, probably would have listened properly to what she was saying too, instead of hovering between, she thinks I’m a fraud now feigning interest in this conversation and, did she say “I’m just dropping in – I won’t stay” because the horror on my face was so slow to leave. Oh no – should I have offered her a drink, anyway? I should have done that straight away!! Is it too late now? Yes it is an after thought. Still, maybe it’s better to be an after thought than not a thought at all.. Oh no, can she see I’m not really paying attention? Oh great, we’ve left our vitamins on the table since breakfast. She’s sitting right near someone’s toast crumbs. Did she just ask me a question? I think a nod is the right thing to do now. Yep that was sufficient.. Phew… Back to the drink – should I offer her a drink? What have we even got to drink? Oh, I’m the worst surprise host ever – this is why I hate the surprise drop-by .. nothing to drink – why didn’t I do a grocery order when I thought of it two days ago?
“I can’t believe it is nearly Christmas!”
“Yes, I know, it really is just around the corner.” Was that a hint about how long she’s waited to be offered a drink?
- Post surprise visit guilt. You probably haven’t even heard of this extrovert – why ? Because you aren’t a transparent-faced-introverted-perfectionist. And for that I envy you.
Not sure now whether to discard the headphones, sing more quietly or just put a “did you phone ahead” note on the front gate … or maybe just relax about it all and put a “drop-bys welcome” sign on the front gate.