Infidelity, unfaithfulness, adultery …

These words come to mind again as the headlines in our newspapers, and in our online news services in Australia declare another fall from grace, and another couple goes through publicly what is an intensely private, searingly painful, shattering and life altering experience.

While the many who haven’t experienced this, watch in disbelief as all the sordid details unfold, and shake their heads in incredulity — all the while there is a woman, struggling to catch her breath, reminding her heart to beat and wondering how to take one step after another. Some who watch this unfold in this public forum may glance away from the headlines to see that their own wounds have opened a little, or find, perhaps, the scars are beginning to itch.

The moment:

For those of you who haven’t been granted membership to this particular club, there’s a level of betrayal that comes in the moment when you learn about infidelity that is unlike anything else you will ever experience…

you suddenly drop off a precipice, 

you plunge either flailing or with an eerie stillness into the freezing cold waters of rejection that suck the air out of your lungs

before you know it, you are hit hard by a merciless wave,

this somehow, at once, fills your nose and mouth

and pummels your core

you recoil only to discover that where your heart, stomach and internal organs once were is now, instead, a gnawing, gnarling, gaping void …

turbulent ocean

I vividly remember trying to get out of ear shot of the 3 and 1/2 year old in order to answer my mother’s shocked,

“What has happened?”

My strength failed just shy of the top step,

and I came to rest there with the “work” mobile in my hand,

while it was now peacefully sleeping …

the names of strangers danced in my mind’s eye,

and the messages, 

those messages,

… the incongruity of those messages and the protests of innocence still ringing in my ears.

Where do I sit?

Am I going to vomit?

Or cry?

Or just do … nothing … 

Hit by a wave of helplessness, suddenly you find yourself strangely disoriented in a place that was, until moments ago, a safe place.

Whether the moment of revelation was one that came as a complete surprise – or if it was something that you knew on an intuitive level; the moment when the realisation that those fears have been realised hits … numbness descends. Even if it was something that you had suspected, at this point there is no sense of vindication or relief. …

Your ears are humming, buzzing and ringing, yet you could swear that all the sound has drained from the world …

now they are burning and tingling as though pricked by hundreds of tiny pins and needles … 

then that tingling, prickling sensation begins to slowly travel down from the top of your head    

To the observer however, you are bereft of colour and beads of sweat glisten on your brow …

perhaps now you start to tremble, because despite the fact that you feel uncomfortably warm all over, in that same moment — you are also extremely cold.

It is shock, and I can only aim at describing it. In reality, it is an intensely emotional and visceral experience. 

Let’s not sugar coat it people, it is trauma – and the damage that this leaves is not visible because it resides in your heart, and mind.

The recovery:

If you have been there – what you know is, that while this is the worst moment, surprisingly this moment is also the beginning of your recovery. The waves that wash over you can’t be avoided — they must engulf and envelope you — but like all waves, these will ebb and flow away.

The tide retreats and you find yourself, just short of the top step, the water has subsided and now you have to get up.

Your colour slowly returns, your ears resume their function, your lungs remember they need air and your heart remembers its primary purpose — and while may have shattered into a million tiny pieces — it beats on.

The recovery can be very slow and it can be painful. From now on you will move from numbness to anger to rage to fear to shame to sadness and back again …. I know for some time I ran the gamut of emotions daily.

You will need a few things – a good counsellor,  some wise and good family and friends, and you will need my God. 

Before I go onto the hope, one more thing, even 11 years on – there is a feeling that descends on me at the beginning of Feb each year. I’m often puzzled as to why this feeling, mood, disquietness descends on me … I then eventually remember that it is that time of year again. It is a trauma – if you know someone in it or if you are someone in it … please recognise that this not just a “get over it” kind of thing.

The hope:

When it comes to the relationship some of you find that your partner has made the choice for you (he/she has gone), some find that the betrayal is such that you cannot salvage anything, while some of you have the opportunity to remain and move toward healing the relationship.

Whatever your present situation, the hope is the same for you – the source is the same and the promises remain the same …

Psalm 34:18.

The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart,

And saves such as have a contrite spirit.

Psalm 73:26

My flesh and my heart fail;

But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

Psalm 147:3

He heals the brokenhearted

And binds up their wounds.

Isaiah 42: 3 -4

A bruised reed He will not break,
And smoking flax He will not quench;
He will bring forth justice for truth.

He will not fail nor be discouraged …

Ezekiel 11:19

Then I will give them one heart, and I will put a new spirit within them, and take the stony heart out of their flesh, and give them a heart of flesh,

Ezekiel 36:26

I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; I will take the heart of stone out of your flesh and give you a heart of flesh.

Isaiah 26:3

You will keep him in perfect peace,
Whose mind is stayed on You,
Because he trusts in You.


In closing, when you stand by and watch the shipwreck that is the end of someone else’s marriage try to remember that somewhere in there, is a person trying to remember how to breathe …

I owe many, many thanks to the family and friends who were there and helped me to remember to breathe … and to the man I married years later, who has stayed and prayed and breathes with me everyday.

I have deliberately excluded details despite the fact that Anne Lamott’s words keep springing to mind…


Links to read:

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A gift related question …

What was the one gift/thing/item you desperately wanted for Christmas (or your birthday), as a child, that you never received?

Warning #1: what follows has a number of references to the 80s and 90s.

Warning #2: there is nothing remotely deep, spiritual, insightful or inspiring to be found here today. It’s superficial, it’s a little nostalgic, and it’s just for fun. I may yet write a more serious one upon which I am currently ruminating … 

So with the warnings out of the way, and hopefully your expectations lowered somewhat, let me push on.

At our pre-grocery-shopping breakfast this morning my husband and I were chatting about the above question. I know the gift he’d never received was a train set. He even remembers having to give another kid a train set as a birthday present … ouch!! We gave him one for his birthday a few years back. 

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The train set… See the shock on his face!

He tried to guess what mine was … “did you want a pony?” that particularly inspiring guess I think was due, in part, to the fact that we had just seen three men walking two ponies down the road. But no, I don’t think I ever wanted a pony … I wasn’t really a horse kind of girl. I don’t think I ever received or wanted a My Little Pony, or a Rainbow Brite doll. I had a little collection of seven Strawberry Shortcake figurines (correction have somewhere) from my 7th birthday cake .. but that was about as far as I ever went when it came to collectables.  


I didn’t have the Barbie collection — I only ever had one Barbie, whose hair I “fixed”, and then she went on a long, long holiday.  From memory I’d been specifically instructed not to alter her hair – I had a better idea. So she went to live in the cupboard, at least that’s where I think she went. So I never wanted the Barbie car/house …

I did receive the greatly desired Cabbage Patch Kid (her name was Jacinta Gabrielle). Yes I still have her somewhere, and my husband has attempted to throw her in the bin (he says they freak him out) and yes I did rescue her.


While this is not mine – she looks remarkably like mine.

Not sure why I rescued her other than I am ridiculously sentimental about some things, I’ve had trouble throwing toys out since hearing this poem as a kid.  I also received the distant relative of the Cabbage Patch slightly less popular but very close to it … Pumpkin Kid .. or something like that. It is important to note that I did not include this photo for the sole purpose of eliciting a response from my husband. 🙂 

I received the coveted “big girl’s” bike for my tenth birthday and then a while later fell off it, managing to break/fracture a rib.

But I think my favourite gift of my childhood/teen years happened during the Mickey Mouse watch outbreak of the early 90s. I was about 16 at the time – and I was one very happy girl (which was unusual for me at that age) when I opened my Christmas present to find this watch.


Apparently this watch now qualifies as “vintage”, which, I guess, makes me ancient?

I knew I wasn’t getting  the Mickey Mouse watch —I was not getting one, there was nothing that size in the pile of presents. I even remember the night before having a chat with myself about not being disappointed – it’s just a watch … you’ll get some lovely gifts, don’t let the disappointment show on your face, Christmas isn’t all about what you get etc, etc, by the morning I’d resigned myself to missing out, little knowing Mum and Dad had done the whole “large box hiding a smaller gift” trick – if you’re reading this kids – we have not done that this year … or have we..??? No, we haven’t. 

But enough reminiscing and back to the initial question: for me – surprisingly, or not, the one thing that came to mind that I wanted and never received was a specific pair of shoes. I had some absolutely amazing shoes as a kid – I think my mother had/has a bit of a thing for shoes, that apparently must have been some of the genetic material that she passed on to me. Now she could’ve passed on some additional height, or the slimmer frame, which my brother received … Yes, Mum, Dad, little bro’, I know you are all reading this but if I say it now I don’t have to bring it up at our Christmas dinner and we can avoid the unpleasantness of last year. 😉 

So my unrealised dream was a pair of these … a pair of wooden clogs/sandals …


I can understand, in part, why this dream remained unrealised. I can imagine that perhaps there might, on some occasions, have been a little noise created by them as I no doubt would have “clumped/clomped around the house”. In researching them it turns out that these ones in particular, are a souvenir from the Philippines !!

I now have no idea where I would have seen them or why I would have so desperately needed a pair … I would have been under 10 years of age at the time. 

Mum sent me a message last night asking for Christmas tips — yeah we like to shop up to the wire … that’s when the true inspiration comes!

So I gave her a vague list of things — world peace, the ability to nap during the day without feeling guilty … an olive tree – that one was serious, the others were too, but are perhaps more difficult to purchase and wrap.

I should have said, I want a pair of those wooden clogs, you remember the ones. 

Now over to you; what would you say to the initial question? 

Feel free to head over to the page on Facebook and write it up there – you never know who might be looking for last minute gift ideas!!

Have a wonderful Christmas if I don’t see you before then!!

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Storms …

We all find ourselves in trials and tribulations from time to time and there are a few things that we need to learn to take away from them, or bring to them with us.

If the truth be told, there are very few Christians we know at the moment who aren’t in some way experiencing some deep waters, or living through some storms.
We will all be confronted, at some point in time, with a trial or tribulation. The word of God is clear with regard to the purpose for/of these times and the intent of God’s heart as He permits us to pass through them.

And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope. Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us. Romans 5:3-5


… count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. James 1:2-5

On at least two occasions in our recent past I have found myself at a total loss as to how to move forward, how to solve certain problems and how to get through.
I was at the time very conscious that my spirit was restless, troubled, my eyes were fixed on circumstances and I was acutely aware of my inability to think or act my way out of it. It was beyond my control.

Today, after a lovely time in His presence, a time of worship, teaching and fellowship with His people it became clear to me — that none of us lives a life free from trials. In fact the people whose opinions thoughts and prayers we value most in our journey, are people for whom we are also on ours knees in prayer.

I’ve been thinking of Him more than I often do, I’m ashamed to admit how quickly and often my heart grows cold. I am ashamed to admit that I know, I too, would have been one of the ones He admonished for falling asleep when He had asked them to watch and pray with Him. This week I found myself back in that boat again, I’ve returned there a few times lately … “ Do you not care that we are perishing..?!!


And a great windstorm arose … 

Today a few thoughts came to me as I thought about this once again. Maybe one of the reasons that Jesus was asleep in this boat in the storm that troubled the disciples, was not only to show them, and us, His power; but also to show them, and us, that storms of this type and magnitude did not trouble Him.
This was not the biggest storm He was to face. He, surely, was very aware of the power of the storm that would be God’s righteous anger when He became the offering for sin. He surely would have been aware of the force with which that storm would break over His righteous soul. He would surely have known that because of this storm God would see of the travail of His soul and be satisfied.

Maybe when we find ourselves in the storms of life we need to remember this truth more readily, the truth that He has already borne the worst for us.

With this knowledge in our hearts and minds, we need to take the time to look at Him — the one asleep in the boat. The more closely we look at him, the more we contemplate Him, the more we see His peace. We should also see with greater clarity the storm He faced and conquered for us.
Through this look of faith our eyes should be opened more to the suffering He endured for us, and with that our hearts should swell all the more with love and gratitude for what He has done.

Let us take our eyes off the storms and the sea, and fix them on Him.

Looking to Jesus


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Forgiveness at its finest …

Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, and pray for those who spitefully use you … Luke 6: 27 – 28

Love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you … Matt 5:44

There’s something here that causes me recoil. I know what it is. It’s the fact that there is something here that I need to do, something that my nature rebels against – love for an enemy.

An enemy is defined as, a person who is actively opposed, or hostile, to someone or something.

This is not someone who insults you about your new hair cut. An enemy is not someone who gives you a dirty look, it’s not your neighbour who accidentally reverses into your rubbish bin for the second time in a fortnight … an enemy is not someone who disagrees with your opinion regarding puppy training.

An enemy is someone who is actively opposed to you, and hostile in their dealings with you. Some of us have these people in our lives, some of us do not. I think those who do not, find it very easy to agree with and perhaps adhere to this the principle without having to actively engage with it. There is no rubber hitting the road here, it purely an academic exercise, which is easy to jump on board with. In fact it’s even remarkably easy to advise others to do this – the words just roll off the tongue.

I’m sure you’ve read those amazing stories in which an individual shows forgiveness and sometimes even love for an enemy, and to some extent you are inspired but you are more often than not equally awestruck as you realise you’d struggle to do it. When it comes down to it most of us think we’d be able to do this under the right circumstances. People who have been wronged usually get to the point that they realise that forgiveness is the best (only) option if they want to move forward, if they want to be healthy and move on.

I know that one aspect of my sinful nature is that I sometimes (more often than not) struggle to forgive. Though at the same time I do know that while I can’t offer forgiveness immediately; if I let the Holy Spirit work in me — it happens. And then before I can feel too pleased with myself, I find myself right up against the verse where we started today.

Love your enemies, bless those who persecute you, pray for them

How about we just leave it at forgiving them?

Love your enemies, bless those who persecute you, pray for them 

What does this mean? For me it appears to ask the impossible. Love your enemy? I’m okay with “Love your neighbour as yourself” that at least, seems to be possible, until I look beneath the surface, and what I find is the same instruction. Love your neighbour as yourself – my thoughts echo the question the scribes asked of Jesus; who is my neighbour?
Now you know where we are heading … His answer came in the form of the story of The Good Samaritan.
He finds his enemy suffering by the roadside:

… when he saw him, he had compassion. So he went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine; and he set him on his own animal, brought him to an inn, and took care of him. On the next day, when he departed, he took out two denarii, gave them to the innkeeper, and said to him, ‘Take care of him; and whatever more you spend, when I come again, I will repay you.’
So which of these three do you think was neighbour to him who fell among the thieves?”
And he said, “He who showed mercy on him.”
Then Jesus said to him, “Go and do likewise.”

The Good Samaritan gives his time, his care, his possessions, his money and even takes responsibility for the well-being of someone who is essentially his enemy (in his case – from birth).
At this point I find it all a bit too difficult to envisage little ol’ me managing to do any of this. But then the self-righteous, perhaps Pharisaical part of me, wants to work out what that means … how can it be measured? Is it time? Is it possessions? Is it money?
When I begin to think this way it isn’t too long before I find myself looking at an imaginary balance sheet. On my side I have a list of things that I can classify as “good” that I could place on the credit side of this transaction … but is love being shown, or am I simply trying to balance the books ..?

Then the Holy Spirit leads me to Corinthians:

love suffers long and is kind;
love does not envy;
love does not parade itself,
love is not puffed up;
love does not behave rudely,
love does not seek its own,
love is not provoked,
love thinks no evil;
love does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth;
love bears all things,
love believes all things,
love hopes all things,
love endures all things.

After reading this I need a whole new balance sheet.

Once again the instruction is clear – this is how we love our enemies, it’s how we love our friends. The application of this passage is so much deeper and wider than simply being a suitable reading for a wedding ceremony. This is not meant to be limited to romantic love as its application in wedding ceremonies may suggest.
Maybe we should more readily and willingly apply this to all of the relationships we find ourselves in, the harmonious, the faltering, and the broken.

At the end of it all, this particular verse “love your enemies …” is meant to encourage us to move in a way that is more in line with the life of Christ, and I think it is meant to encourage us to be mindful of the sanctifying work of the Holy Spirit in our lives. We, none of us, is able to do this one in our own strength.

Yet, as weak and imperfect as the holiness of the best saints may be, it is a real true thing, and has a character about it as unmistakable as light and salt. It is not a thing which begins and ends with noisy profession; it will be seen much more than heard. Genuine Scriptural holiness will make a man do his duty at home and by the fireside, and adorn his doctrine in the little trials of daily life. It will exhibit itself in passive graces—as well as in active. It will make a man humble, kind, gentle, unselfish, good-tempered, considerate of others, loving, meek, and forgiving. It will not constrain him to go out of the world, and shut himself up in a cave, like a hermit. But it will make him do his duty in that state to which God has called him, on Christian principles, and after the pattern of Christ.
J.C Ryle

Don’t forget that we, as Christians, were, at one time, enemies of God.

Christ loved His enemies, didn’t He?


White Crucifixion – Marc Chagall

It’s not as though He is telling us to do something He hasn’t already done.

It’s not as though He is leaving us to do it on our own, or in our own strength.


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Parenting is a tough gig …

It has been a while I know,  it’s not that I haven’t thought about writing; I have a collection of incomplete thoughts, scribblings and ramblings saved under a variety of different titles most of which involve the word “thoughts”.

Today will not be incredibly insightful nor revealing, neither will it contain an earth shattering revelation, but I need to start writing properly again, and so this is my first step back in.

As you would know we have one tween and two teens – so soon to be three teens.

Unknown.jpegSome days are easier and better than others, on one of the “other” days in this week just past, my lovely husband suggested that we listen to a podcast or two (5 really) by Paul Tripp called “I Hate Parenting”. Each clip is three minutes long including a one minute advert at the end. In these little clips a few things that he said really hit the spot … I recommend that you have a listen/watch if you are finding the parenting journey is less than perfect at the moment.

Last week I struggled through a few things and the one I found the most difficult I think was what he mentions in the second episode — parenting is something that exposes your heart and who you are.

We, as you know, are one of those families where our kids travel between two homes with great regularity and they find themselves living in, and, sometimes between two different worlds. It is not always easy for them — it is not always easy for us. Sometimes it works well, sometimes it doesn’t.
What is important in this, is for me to realise that even in this, I am able to learn more about myself, my heart, my Saviour and my need to trust Him and rely more fully on Him.

What I learned about myself this week just past, wasn’t flattering. I still love to be in control. I still think I know what is best (because usually I do) 😉 I still think what is best in the short term is also what is best in the long term.
What I forget more often than I’d care to mention, is that God wants not only for me to learn to trust Him, but He desires the same for everyone who is under our roof.
He wants our kids to see Him for who He is, He wants them to be converted, He wants them to trust Him, to love Him.
We pray each day that He will draw our kids closer to Him; that they will come to a saving knowledge of Him and then, when I see something coming their way that may cause hurt or disappointment, I try to stand in the way and block it.
The thing they need to learn more than anything, is that He alone is the one to trust in, He alone is the one who can save, He alone is the one who will never let them down.

This week as I watched things leave my realm of control and leave my sphere of influence, an ugliness began to come out in my heart, a resentment, and I had one of those painful epiphanies. I came to realise that I have tried to be God in my child’s life. I have tried to be the constant, the provider, the protector, the comforter, and guess what – I am very, very, very much under-qualified for that job – we all are – and the sooner we realise that the better.
I came to realise that I have been trying to parent as a Christian without fully relying on Christ — oxymoronic, right?
I’ve been trying to run the whole show based purely upon what is right in my own eyes, and my vision is very limited.

There are a number of things that we know to be true about parenting:

it is tough.
it reveals to us not only the inherently sinful nature of our child — but also our own inherently sinful nature.
it shows us who we are,
it shows us who God is,
it requires a close walk with God ,
it shows us our relationship with Christ is the first and foremost priority,
it requires surrender.

I think also as parents it is important to be friends with people who are parenting kids at the same stages and age as our own, as well as people who have been there before and emerged out the other side as sane, fully functioning human beings.

That’s it for today …

Now go and listen to Paul Tripp “I Hate Parenting


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Matthew 5

Some days we can see that the world is falling apart around us.

On these days when people are questioning the existence of God, we as His children, are often more acutely aware of His presence, because in these moments we can see; ourselves, our loved ones, our fellow members of the human race as we truly are. Broken, dying, desperate for a Saviour to save us, desperate for Someone to haul us out of the hole we have dug for ourselves, and craving a Spirit capable of remaking us.

The following passage has, over the past few weeks, been in the forefront of my mind: the exerpt below is from the Amplified version.


[spiritually prosperous, happy, to be admired] are the poor in spirit [those devoid of spiritual arrogance, those who regard themselves as insignificant], for theirs is the kingdom of heaven [both now and forever].

[forgiven, refreshed by God’s grace] are those who mourn [over their sins and repent], for they will be comforted [when the burden of sin is lifted].

[inwardly peaceful, spiritually secure, worthy of respect] are the gentle [the kind- hearted, the sweet-spirited, the self-controlled], for they will inherit the earth.

[joyful, nourished by God’s goodness] are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness [those who actively seek right standing with God], for they will be [completely] satisfied.

[content, sheltered by God’s promises] are the merciful, for they will receive mercy.

[anticipating God’s presence, spiritually mature] are the pure in heart [those with integrity, moral courage, and godly character], for they will see God.

[spiritually calm with life-joy in God’s favour] are the makers and maintainers of peace, for they will [express His character and] be called the sons of God.

[comforted by inner peace and God’s love] are those who are persecuted for doing that which is morally right, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven [both now and forever].

[morally courageous and spiritually alive with life-joy in God’s goodness] are you when people insult you and persecute you, and falsely say all kinds of evil things against you because of [your association with] Me. Be glad and exceedingly joyful, for your reward in heaven is great [absolutely inexhaustible]; for in this same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

You are the salt of the earth;

but if the salt has lost its taste (purpose), how can it be made salty? It is no longer good for anything, but to be thrown out and walked on by people [when the walkways are wet and slippery].

You are the light of [Christ to] the world.

A city set on a hill cannot be hidden; nor does anyone light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house.


Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good deeds and moral excellence, and [recognise and honour and] glorify your Father who is in heaven.



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Still here …

So you might have noticed that it’s been over a month, close to two months since I’ve written anything.  Facebook kindly told me that I needed to write something because it has been so long since you lovely people had heard from me!!

It’s not that I have nothing to say, it’s just that I’m not sure where to start. But perhaps that’s the best place to be. There is one thing that I do know, in my life as a Christian I don’t know the One who has called me as well as I should.



I want to know Him.

I want to know what He has for me to do, and do it.

I want to know Him better – now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known.

I want His word tattooed on my heart – because we are letters written and seen of all,  not written with ink, but by the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of … the heart.

I want His word impressed upon my mind, that it might take its gaze from self and, be transformed – that it might be – this mind … which was also in Christ Jesus.

I want His word to spill from my lips  – because out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.

I want my heart to beat for justice,

my hands to move with mercy,

my feet to be swift to do good, that I might never grow weary in well doing.

I want my thoughts to be God-honouring

my words to be life-giving and sprinkled with grace.

And my days that are written in His book, to be marked by love.


Above it all, there is one thing I know to be true, I must decrease, that He may increase.




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This Easter … 

I spent some time drawing yesterday. 

I first heard this quote about a year ago – it has flitted in and out of my mind since. 

Yesterday it settled for a while. 

There is much to be said, but for now, I’ll just leave it here. 

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Post anniversary mail… 

So, we are home from our few days away. Now, I’m sure you have been waiting with baited breath, I’m writing now to assure you that the wait is over!

The gift and card arrived.

And both exceeded all expectations!

The card from: Cachiko (bamboo classifies as wood)

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The gift from: ArtsyVoiceprint  The voiceprint of the song that played as I walked down the aisle. It comes with QRcode, so you can scan and listen to the song. This gift works really well when your significant other teaches physics.



* Note to future self: amazing brainwave/gift ideas must form/occur sooner.

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43 800 hours

In less than 48 hours (I can’t do the math – you know this about me) we will be celebrating our fifth wedding anniversary.

The Hallmark site gives some very handy tips for those about to celebrate an anniversary for example, how to write in a card and how to wrap a present! Now these tips are all well and good, if the card and the present are present. Alas, they are not.

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I would like to take this moment to point out that, what the Hallmark site has neglected to do is provide the necessary advice for when the amazing gift one has organised, that is not only beautifully reminiscent of the wedding day, but also meets the requirements of the traditional gift, and furthermore is suitably personalised so as to make it original, and so incredibly thoughtfully selected that it also meets the requirements of no fewer than two love languages “gift giving” and “quality time” maybe even “words of affirmation” — doesn’t arrive on time.

To my husband reading this right now, I know what you’re going to say: I don’t need a gift I have you. And we both know that’s exactly why you do need a gift. Yes, you do – the “having” of me to which you refer, definitely qualifies you for multiple gifts as I’m quite possibly not exactly the catch you herald me as being … you have most certainly earned a gift or two. (Though maybe not the tractor you wish for – give that a few more years.) 

I’m going to be honest, the “back up present for when the real present doesn’t arrive” is kind of disappointing, so in addition to that, I’ll give you some words. Yes, these words are arriving a day or so in advance, and even as I do this, I am holding out hope that the gift and card will somehow speed through customs and arrive. Though, in hindsight I’m now a little worried that I may have over described the amazingness of the gift, and built it up to be so impressive, that when it arrives it will be a disappointment. (See folks, I am a real treat to live with!)

We, he and I, have come a long way over the past five years, and we’ve certainly weathered a few storms. We’ve dealt with more opposition than most people have to over the course of their marriage. We’ve both been refined to the point that we might be different people to the ones who stood under that tree 5 years ago and made those declarations in the presence of our God, our family and our friends.

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We weren’t naive really – we knew we’d face some challenges but maybe we didn’t consider just how many of them would come our way or in what a quick succession they would present themselves.  We can be thankful that those challenges, while designed to drive a wedge between us, were used by our God to strengthen our faith in Him and to solidify and strengthen our relationship with each other.

So, husband of mine, let me give you a quick summary of my perspective of the past five years:

  • You have continually demonstrated your willingness to be a man after God’s heart.
  • You have repeatedly proved your willingness to be forgiving of, and patient with, a woman who has, at times, been at war with you, and herself.
  • You have never attempted to confine or cage me.
  • You have instead been instrumental in the mending of my wings, and the healing my heart and mind – your patience and encouragement have been crucial in the development of who I am. (I’m not sure how much credit you’d like to take for that 😉 )
  • You have always encouraged me to do more than I think I can, you have always seen the best in me.
  • You have never restricted or limited me.
  • You have never once thrown anything that I’ve said, back at me and that must be hard! I know it can’t be that you have memory issues – it’s that you are the most gracious man I’ve ever met.
  • The words “I told you so” have never once exited your person – I wish I could say the same.
  • You have never been anything but forgiving and kind.
  • You have lead and continue to lead our family with humility.
  • You daily seek to demonstrate the meaning of “husband love your wife even as Christ loved the church” …

You continue to be the most patient man I know,

the most generous,

the most easy-going (sometimes frustratingly so),

the most caring man I know.

To me, you are, the best of men. 

Happy Anniversary, sorry my most magnificent gift probably will not arrive on time 😦

All my love to you, in the words of Don Maclean… And I Love You So  …

NB: You have never attempted to curb my shoe buying – but rather you have encouraged it (enabled it).

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